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Right now my role is as HR lead on a bid team. I’m a director of HR without any humans.

Initially it was quite liberating – developing plans and ideas without the day to day reality of people. I worked in a small team and my interaction was mainly as colleague and not as counsellor, coach, advisor.

About 6 weeks in I had a update meeting with the bid director to look at my plans and review where we were going etc. we had 2 hours scheduled in so it was a meaty session. We didn’t even look at my plans. What we did was one of my favourite things in HR we talked through the team, the challenges she was facing, the people issues she had. I was critical friend, honest counsellor and coach. I helped her work through some of her trickier people issues using skills I had developed and learned. And it felt great.

Afterwards I was buoyant, energised and raring to go. But I went back into the rabbit hole that bid writing can sometimes be and lost a bit of that energy.

Last night, in the wee small hours when I was listening to himself and the dog snore breath I was thinking about my energy levels and why I was struggling right now and I remembered the meeting above. I miss people, I miss the human part of my role. I enjoy the work I’m doing – blank sheet of paper, encouraged to look at new ways of doing things, to coin a phrase from the CIPD Hack doing everything I can to chuck out the chintz. But I miss people. I miss the energy we get from each other, I miss helping my senior team move their thinking forward and being that check in place for them. I miss the relationship building. I’ve loved the words and having the time to build a vision but can’t wait until the new year when I can get back to doing.